Spongestalker Bratpants Fail #5: Sun Bleached

I said I would do the sister episode of the previous Spongebob review!

Anyway, this episode begins with Spongebob and Patrick, once again, playing at the beach.If you’ve watched “A Life in a Day” or red my review of it, you know what’s coming.
Anyhow, there’s lots of tanners at the beach sucking up to the “hottest” tanned otter in town, Craig Mammalton.He invites everyone to his running party except for Spongebob and Patrick, cause they’re not tanned.Omg, wow…..they don’t go to the extreme of tanning like you do and get so close to skin cancer…wow…
What makes this even worse is when he says that he doesn’t want to embarrass them yet calls other every other person just to belittle and embarrass them.Please, can someone just lock Craig in his tanning booth and never let him come out?
Also, he’s supposed to be the “good guy” by peer pressuring and bullying two “different” people into being like everyone else, cause being cool is WAY more unique than being yourself.
You know, there’s a girl in my class just like Craig.She will grab everyone’s attention to you just to embarrass you and talk about things you don’t want people to know.That’s why no one tells her a secret because she’s a manipulative fake ass thot who lives to see others die.Seriously, never talk about trying to stay off of drugs or being sexually abused.She will go around and tell people like it’s a small little joke.Worst of all, she blames YOU.Yep! Like it’s your fault for not defending yourself when you got molested.WTF? I really hate her.I hope she doesn’t go to my high school (I’ll be in eight grade starting September ninth.)
Anyhoo, both decide to be followers and tan.Patrick tan goes “perfect” (If you call looking like a man in his late 50’s dipped in syrup and heavy makeup beautiful, okay.) while Spongebob’s tan makes him look like he hasn’t had water for a few weeks and has been smoking cigarettes and sniffing crack for two decades.Don’t do drugs, kids.Why? Cause Patrick was too busy being a sugar daddy (Get it? Cause he looks old? Lel.) for random thots for 2+ hours.Nice “BFF” you are, Patrick.
First of all, why is Patrick caramel brown? He’s freaking almost medium pink.A “tan” for him would be hot pink or magenta.And if Spongebob was truly tan. He should be the most darkest shade of yellow.A TAN is to DARKEN your skin, so no matter how long you stay, your skin should continue to get darker.

THIS is their real tan.

THIS is their real tan.

THIS IS THEIR REAL TAN.I also noticed the same thing happened to e background characters, which turn into dark brown colors even though they’re originally light, neon colors.Logic fail.
Anyway, Patrick gives Spongebob a bootleg “cover” up after ice cream and PARTY TIME!!!
That background mom is a idiot, btw.If you’re going to tan your kid just to get in a party, which is very irresponsible and idiotic btw, you should’ve known to tan that.Whatever, all the tanned people in this episode are idiots.
At the party, they’re all showing off how creepy their tans make them when Spongebob’s disguise peels off because of the lights used on Craig’s budget to get even tanner!!! Yay!!! Skin cancer is so tun !!!
Because half of modern Spongebob characters are insensitive assholes, they decide to bully and embarrass him unto Craig tells them to shut up cause he’s the tanning god, only person to ever reach skin cance- I mean “Skin Bleach”.Yeah.That’s what it is.Keep telling yourself that,Craig.
Anyway, the background characters decide to be hypocritical two face idiots and cheer for Spongebob even though they literally belittled him fifteen seconds ago.Characterization fail.
Good thing Spongebob would rather be liked then treated fairly.
Anyway, the lights are turned to “Sun Bleached” until they crush into crust ugly dust.Side effect of skin cancer.
Spongebob grows a backbone and ponders to Patrick if they’re gonna get skin cancer and die if they continue following a egotistical douchebag.And Patrick just shoves the question of and says to just continue the bad path.

Wtf? Why much all the characters follow the alpha douche? Can there be a episode of this show where someone realizes how mess up the alpha king is? Where they’re not going to do something they’re uncomfortable with to be like the followers of the alpha douche? Oh wait Spongebob left morals years ago.Lel.
Once again, people really need to comment in what they want me to review.I’m running out of ideas.
See ya later. :/


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